If you have read my recent posts you will have noted that I have not been on the bag in a while, but I fell back into my old ways easily. On hole 1 he’s chipping off the green in the rough and I say something to the effect of: remember it’s uphill, roll it up to the hole, you don’t want to go past the hole here.
It goes way past the hole. I told you not to give me advice!
On hole 2 playing partner whacks the ball into a tree on the right, it bounces wildly on the cart path.
In mid bounce I shout optimistically: I think it’s going to be a good bounce for you !
It bounces at a right angle left into downhill rough. Playing partner gives me a look and Rob glares at me. Optimism is over-rated on a golf course.
Rob says dryly: That was not a lucky bounce. Well actually it worked out better than it’s original trajectory but I say nothing. Peach went on to par the hole, no help from me and I vowed to keep my mouth off the ball in the future ….. thanks past Masters Champ, Tommy Aaron via way of Rick Reilly’s “Who’s Your Caddy” for that spectacular piece of caddying advice!
We puttered happily along and putted really well. On hole 9 I was blamed for him going in a fairway bunker – you said aim right ! Yes I did!
And then a red cell landed on us. Literally. Lightening, thunder and torrential rain and we scuttled back to the club house. Saw Bear there who was on hole 17 when the heavens broke. His score reminds me of the need, in the enlightened words of Eckardt Tolle : to offer no resistance to life is to be in a state of grace, ease and lightness. This state is then no longer dependent upon things being in a certain way, good or bad.
The rain moved on and while waiting for the horn to blow to get us back out on the course I suggested the boys go putt and see how the rain has changed the feel of the greens.
Bear : that would be extremely illegal.
Ok.
Rob: Am I the only one whose being mauled by bugs?
Me: I’m sure everyone is.
Rob: But I got 10 bites during that putt, I counted them.
Me: Which is why you two-putted, you are too focused on the bugs.
Rob: I’m not.
The sun is out and it’s scalding and humid as hell.
Rob: I feel like I’ve got a bug in my shoe and it’s biting me over and over. (pause) Why do u think I’m playing so badly?
Me: Because you’re lapsing in your routine and you’re fixated on the bugs. And you’re not playing that badly.
Rob: But I think I’m the only one they are biting.
And then suddenly in the midst of this baking, bug infested hell hole he whispers. Will you help me with my shots?
Uh. Hell yes !!!!!!!
And he proceeded to ask me for help on everything. Everything !! Even breaks!!!
And we went along well. Until we didn’t. And my alignment put him in a thorn bush. But only just in. I convinced him to back his body in and try punch it out. He did back in. He didn’t get out and punctured his hand. Then we called it unplayable (should have done it the first time).
Down hill from there accompanied to: You don’t have to help me any more.